The Weight of Responsibility

Hello people!

I want to share with you readers this situation in which I'm in, with the hope that it might add somehow to your life.

So, I was chosen to lead the new adolescents group at my church. That's something I've been waiting for sometime, something God had told would happen a long time ago, and that God has been preparing me to for a long time too...

I can't explain how happy and excited I am to start working with them. I know we're gonna start with a very low number of people, but despite that, the responsibility of leading and taking care of them is just the same as if leading thousands to me, because I already love them, or better saying, God has already been pouring his love in my heart for them.

And so, having this huge responsibility of leading this new youth, this emerging generation to spiritual growth and experiences with God, it brings me the obligation of being closer to God than ever, so that God can lead me into doing His will in the group, the meetings, the activities, and counseling to come.

Since July I've sensed God calling me closer to Him very deeply, very intensive. In a lot of situations I can see, hear, sense God calling me closer to Him. And now, He even gave me this great responsibility so that I may be compelled (through my own sense of duty to God) to tight up my relationship with Him.

But the same way, that's my biggest difficulty right now: to spend time with God. There's so much stuff going on, so many things to do, so many distractions, I'm finding hard to spend time with God, and it's killing me inside, like if I'm being ripped in half: on one side, God's pulling me closer to Him, the other, my self (I guess I could say flesh) is pulling me to everything else. And to top it all, this new leadership role is totally dependent in who wins this "thug-of-war" inside of me...

This has been one of my biggest questions to God lately: How can you win over yourself? In other words, how can you really surrender to what God wants? How can you win this battle between flesh and spirit, you vs. you, praying or playing wii, reading the bible or youtube, and so on?? Believe me, that's my one million dollar question right now, but if God reveals to me this big secret, then my friends.. Nothing will stop me.

Well, I think this is enough for this late-week post. Thanks for reading, pray for me if you can, and may God bless you!

See ya!
W.Z.